Ready or Not - More Tricks, Treats, and Games

Barney learned how to balance a Milkbone dog biscuit on his nose (and then flip it into his mouth) in about 30 minutes. That was always a neat trick. My version of teaching how to play dead was to make my hand look like a gun, point it at him, and say “bang bang”. His version of playing dead wasn’t very convincing, as I never could get him to stop wagging his tail. Maybe because he knew he’d be getting a treat momentarily? He also would roll over when you’d draw a circle in the air with your index finger.

Something I always got a kick out of was playing hide and seek with Barney. I think this started from teaching him how to “stay”. I’d make him sit/stay in one of the main rooms, then go hide behind a door, or on the far side of the bed, or my favorite, in the bathtub with the shower curtain drawn. Then I’d call him and he’d come looking. It was so funny, I’d have a hard time not cracking up. I still do that with my current mutts, but they pretty much know all my hiding places, and they cheat, there’s three of them and one of me. You should try it sometime, your dog is soooo happy when they find you!

I’d also play hide and seek when I would take him for walks in the woods. I’d let him off-leash, and sometimes he would get way far ahead of me. So I’d step off to the side of the dirt road or trail and hide by a big tree or bush or something and call him. This was also lots of fun. He’d come hauling ass past me, then put on the brakes, and come back. I think it was pretty easy for him to find me by my scent out there in the woods as opposed to in my house (where my scent is everywhere). After a while, when he’d run on ahead, he’d turn and check on me, to make sure I was still there. Sometimes he’d catch me as I was fixin to “hide”. If I ever wanted him to come back in a hurry, I’d turn and walk the other way. That’s something my sister taught me.

To Woof or not to Woof

Barney was a very friendly dog, he never was afraid of any person or dog. After a while, I was afraid that if I had a burglar or someone come into my home, he’d be bringing them the ball, showing them where the silverware was, c’mon in, that sorta thing. Many times people would come to my door and he’d be standing at the door, wagging his tail.

So I taught him how to bark on command with a hand signal. I didn’t want someone at the door hearing me say “sic ‘em”, so I made a hand signal of tapping my open hand onto my fist. He got quite good at it, and people always had to try it out when I told them about it. Especially kids. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t shared that info. lol

One night, around 3am, I had a visitor. They knocked on the door, and lo and behold, Barney barked! And it wasn’t the hand signal happy bark, it was a full-throttle growly gonna-bite-your-ass-and-chase-you-down-the-block bark. I was thrilled. After that I slept much better at night.

Teaching him how to bark on command came in handy on another occasion, when I was living with my best friend. I came home late at night after work, and my key broke off in the front door. My friend was a very sound sleeper, and I couldn’t reach her window to knock on that. And this was before cell phones were common. Barney was waiting for me inside the door, wagging his tail, wondering why I wasn’t coming in. I started giving him the hand signal to bark, which he started doing, which woke up my friend. Who was nice enough to open the door. J

Front Yard Entertainment

We’d also play fetch in the front yard with sticks. Being a retriever, Barney never seemed to tire of this game. After I got tired, I’d put the tailgate down on the truck and we would hang out. Sometimes I’d go inside and he’d stay on the tailgate, just chillin’. I remember a few times when I’d forget I left him out there and he’d still be on the tailgate, asleep.

Whenever we’d play in the front yard with him off-leash, I’d let him know where the boundaries were. If he’d get too close to the street, I’d make a noise, kind of like “Annk”, and he’d stop and look at me. Pretty soon he knew not to go past a certain point. This also worked at other locations too. He was one smart dog!

There were some apartments next to us, and sometimes some of the kids would come over and play with him. He got rather enthusiastic one time, and started to try to hump one of the kids. I called him off, but he had a little woody, which was rather noticeable against his black hair. One of the little kids pointed and said, “What’s that??”… uh…He’s happy to see you?? lol

I also tried to teach him to get me the newspaper, which was a hit and miss thing. Sometimes the paper would end up farther away, as he’d go get it, and then go check something out. And forget the Sunday paper, he looked at me like, “You want me to do what???”

Walkin' the dog

When Barney was a puppy I’d play with him all the time, throwing a tennis ball and playing tug of war with an old towel. I managed to get all four of his “baby teeth” playing tug of war, I guess that was kind of mean, but I wanted them. lol I still have them, too.

I’d take him for walks all the time too. After he learned to get his food dish, he also learned the difference between “ball” and “leash”. Soon he would be bringing me his leash when he wanted to go for a walk. With lots of practice I got him to walk off-leash at heel. I’d start out with him on leash, and when we’d get on a quiet street I’d let him off leash, and he’d run ahead a little bit. If a car came or if someone walked out, I’d call him to me, and he’d walk next to me. When the car would pass, or whatever, I’d let him go again. Worked great! One of the other things I taught him was to sit when I’d stop, like at a corner or wherever. I’d signal to him that I was going to stop by scuffing my heel on the ground, and he’d sit.

I remember one time we were walking, and I got really mad at him for something, I think he was still pulling on the leash, and I smacked him with it. Oh, the look that he gave me. Such reproach. I don’t know if I ever “corrected” him like that again, or maybe he never needed it.

The Meeting

or, How Barney found me and probably saved my life

Barney found me in the early summer of 1990, a few months after my mom passed away. I always kind of thought she sent him to me.

I was on my way home from Mike and Jill’s house out in Willis. I had just brought them a kitten/cat, I think from my sister. They already had a dog named Wilma, and named the cat Pebbles. So that’s how Barney got his name, not after the purple dinosaur, thankyouverymuch. Maybe kinda after the pool hall of the same name here in the Houston area.

Anyway, I was driving the back roads coming home, FM249 to Tomball, west on 2920, then south on Telge Road. Telge Road has a couple of medium sharp turns, one to the left and one to the right. On that second turn I happened to notice a spot of black on the double yellow line in the center of the road. I quickly pulled over, and calling “here, boy” this little bundle of fur came running straight towards me. And that’s how we met. If I hadn’t been paying attention, I could have just as easily ran over him. I think of that often.

Barney quickly became a very important part of my life. Me, who has always been a cat person, had a dog. I was living by myself at the time just on the wrong side of Bellaire and West University. I was renting a great 40's craftsman style house, lots of windows that would catch the breeze, a little one car garage, huge kitchen with an O’Keefe and Merritt stove with a griddle in the middle, and a decent sized backyard with chain link fence. And a screened in patio. And a cat. I think it was Spencer.

I quickly found out how intelligent Barney was. I’d feed him outside on the porch, and during the day while I was working he would take his food dish out in the yard to chew on it. So every morning I’d have to go get it. That got old, especially when it was raining. So I taught Barney to go get his dish. This worked so well that when he was hungry, he would bring me his dish. Also, when he was very young, he only had 3 “accidents” that I know of. One was in the truck that first night that I was bringing him home, but that was a pretty long drive so he was forgiven. Then he had two in the house. I guess I made my point about going outside, because those are the only two times I remember him pissin in the house. I was extremely fortunate!